tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58262605851267480322024-02-08T10:00:07.274-08:00The Dark Haired Girl: ProvokedThe Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-26940336129971280072008-03-10T16:03:00.000-07:002008-06-17T16:18:15.271-07:00Gender Diary<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >This is something we were asked to do in a class, I found it interesting and decided to share it. We were asked to keep a diary for a day and journal anything that identified gender. . .</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style=""> q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >Wake up at around 5:30, turn my alarm off before it wakes up my son</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >Get in the shower</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><br />-</b></span><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I shampoo and condition my hair with Samypure, which comes in a bright pink bottle and has a distinctively feminine scent<br />-I wash with melon and cucumber body wash, which also is in a feminine looking bottle<br />–Then I shave with a pink razor . . .Its definitely a gender thing to shave my legs and my armpits. . .but I just noticed, I also do it with a pink razor.<b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >Get out of the shower, brush my teeth, put my hair up in a towel and get dressed<br />–I put on women’s undergarments. . . that’s a gender thing. . .and then put on nylons, tan dress pants, and a black blouse (blouse. . . now that’s definitely a “girl thing”) </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I go into my son Christian’s room, get his clothes out of his dresser, wake him up, tell him to go potty and then I help him get dressed (these things I do as a mom which is a gender thing, but also because I am a parent, and a single parent, so it is up to me whether I am a mom or if I happened to be a single dad—although, single moms are definitely more prominent than single dads) Historically in two parent families, it was the mom’s job to do these motherly type things anyway.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >We go to the kitchen and I get Christian yogurt and make him a frozen pancake and blow dry my hair.<span style=""> </span>Blow drying is not necessarily a gender thing, but my hair cut which is longer and layered is a pretty feminine hair cut.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I plug my curling iron in and gather my things, which includes another set of clothes, because I also have to work tonight- Wednesdays are a long day, and get Christian’s things together.<span style=""> </span>Another mom thing, we brush our teeth and I curl my hair (gender thing).</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >We get everything we need out to the car, I get Christian in his car seat, and we head out to the babysitters</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >Once we get to the babysitter’s house she starts talking to me about a Pampered Chef party she will be having—yuck, if I was male, I can almost guarantee that no one would bug me about going to a Pampered Chef, Lia Sophia, Partylite, Mary Kay, etc. . . blah, I tell her I’ll check my calendar.<span style=""> </span>I give Christian extra hugs and kisses today because I know I won’t get home until after he is in bed (his grandma picks him up Wednesday nights—it’s interesting, he goes to a female baby sitter, my female mother picks him up and watches him Wednesday nights, and when he goes to school all of his teachers and the daycare workers are female)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I head out to my internship at The Salvation Army.<span style=""> </span>I stop in a park parking lot to put on makeup- gender thing- the parking lot thing is just because it is easier for me to put my make up on without a three year old asking me if he can help and coming at my eyes with an eyelash curler—Yikes.<span style=""> </span>The fact that I even use an eyelash curler seems ridiculous to me when I think about it. . .who decided that women needed to have long lashes. . . and everyone I know that has naturally long and pretty eye lashes happens to be male.<span style=""> </span>Figures.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I park and grab my purse and tote – my purse. . .also another feminine thing and go in.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I am a senior in the Social Work program and have had my field practice/internship since September at the Salvation Army working as a social worker.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >The first thing I have this morning is an interview with someone on the waiting list to get into the transitional living program.<span style=""> </span>I interview a male who throughout the interview won’t make eye contact with me and continually calls me ma’am.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >After the interview I call some of the other local agencies that this person has been working with.<span style=""> </span>I speak with several social worker from these agencies, and then it dawns on me that everyone I speak with is female. . . then I think about the fact that all of the social workers at my internship are female—except for the director, who happens to be male.<span style=""> </span>There is only one male in the senior year of the social work program I am in.<span style=""> </span>I the field of social work a gender thing.<span style=""> </span>There are males, but the field really is dominated by women.<span style=""> </span>“Pink-collar” I’ve heard it called.<span style=""> </span>Is that because it is a helping field, and nurturing, compassion, and empathy are historically thought of as women’s traits. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >After my interview I am sitting in my supervisors office talking to <i style="">her</i> about the interview, and another one of the case workers comes in and starts talking about her husband.<span style=""> </span>She is complaining about how he leaves food out on the counter for hours, and then eats it.<span style=""> </span>We all compare our stories about the stupid food things our husbands/boyfriends do, and make all sorts of generalizations about men in general.<span style=""> </span>I don’t think I would get in on this man bashing if I was male.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >Next there is the case management staffing meeting.<span style=""> </span>The meeting consists of 4 women, including myself, and one guy (he is the Life Skills Coordinator, not a social worker).<span style=""> </span>The meeting starts out in the typical way, where everyone complains about a particular female employee at the Corps.<span style=""> </span>It has nothing to do with the purpose of this meeting, but it happens every time anyway.<span style=""> </span>The whole meeting should only take about an hour and a half, if we all just stuck to talking about our clients, but it ends up taking between 3 and 3 ½ hours every time because it tends to turn into a gossip session, which is, stereotypically, a woman thing to do.<span style=""> </span>Is this gendered? I don’t know, I have a group of male friends who gossip more than any woman I have ever met.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >After the meeting I have to rush out and go to my job.<span style=""> </span>I work at a small bar</span><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >.<span style=""> </span>I unlock the door and then lock the door again behind me.<span style=""> </span>I make sure I re-lock the door, because I need to change clothes and I don’t feel comfortable being a woman alone in a closed bar changing clothes.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I go to the bathroom and change out of my definitely feminine clothes into jeans and a hooded sweatshirt.<span style=""> </span>I am almost un-gendering my clothes. <span style=""> </span>I don’t wear short skirts, heals, or low cut clothing to bartend here, yes, I’d probably get more tips, but I’d have to put up with a lot more crap.<span style=""> </span>I throw on a pair of tennis shoes.<span style=""> </span>Then I redo my make-up.<span style=""> </span>Oops, now that’s definitely something that I identify with being a woman.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I get ice, cut fruit, fill the sinks, turn on the lights, and wipe down the bar.<span style=""> </span>I normally stock the cooler before I unlock the doors (because I don’t like leaving the bar to go to the basement when there are people there), but I don’t have time today because of the meeting that ran way over.<span style=""> </span>So I unlock the doors and wait.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I start making popcorn right after I open, then someone walks in the front door and sits down at the bar.<span style=""> </span>It’s a middle aged guy, I have never seen before.<span style=""> </span>I say hi and ask what I can get for him.<span style=""> </span>Then he decides he needs to introduce himself, shake my hand, and asks my name.<span style=""> </span>I say I’m Kate, and go get him his beer.<span style=""> </span>I give him his beer take his money and he says, “thanks sweetheart” and I smile and say “mm hmm” but I’m thinking, “why did I just tell you my name if your going to call me sweetheart??”<span style=""> </span>He continues trying to talk to me and keeps telling me some pretty crude jokes and I laugh politely and am super relieved when the popcorn starts popping so I can go take care of that. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >I don’t know this guy, have never seen him before, but he comes off as a little creepy and my sensors are out.<span style=""> </span>I’ve learned to be wary when I am here, especially when I am the only one working (which is usually since I don’t do a lot of weekends since Christian was born).<span style=""> </span>Would I be so sensitive and alert if I were one of the male employees here? Probably not, and I know they are not. If I am alone in the bar with a male who I don’t know, or one that is making me uncomfortable, I am always aware of where I’m standing, what’s around me, how they are moving, and what is in distance for me to grab and hit someone over the head with (seriously), and it happens naturally, I can still talk and smile and be a good bartender while thinking about all those other things.<span style=""> </span>And even if someone is making me a little nervous, I never act nervous—in my experience, in this profession</span><span style="font-size:100%;">, </span><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >some men that come in and can tell your nervous continue to try and make it worse and take it as an opportunity.<span style=""> </span>I might feel intimidated, but I never let on, and am very alert of my plan of action if something happens.<span style=""> </span>Once again, if I was one of the guys here this probably would not be as much of an issue.<span style=""> </span>I know all of the other women who work here and are here alone are the same way, they all are confident and assertive, or bitchy as some put it, and don’t ever dress provocatively.<span style=""> </span>It’s a safety thing.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >The guy calls me over again (he calls me “honey” this time) and orders another beer.<span style=""> </span>So I open the tap and it sprays all over me which means its out and I need to go to the basement to change it.<span style=""> </span>I tell him its out and ask if he wants something else, of course he doesn’t.<span style=""> </span>Then he tells me to show him were the barrels are and he’ll tap it for me.<span style=""> </span>I tell him not to worry about it.<span style=""> </span>I grab the keys to the basement and unlock the door when I notice he is walking towards me.<span style=""> </span>He offers again to go do it.<span style=""> </span>(a lot of guys offer to do this for me and the other women who work here—this is kind of a gender thing to I guess, because barrels are heavy and it takes a little muscle to tap them, and women are of course so much weaker than men and obviously can’t handle such a strenuous task *sarcasm). I jokingly tell the guy to go sit down and open the door.<span style=""> </span>I make sure to shut the door behind me because it locks automatically and I don’t need some random man following me down the steps.<span style=""> </span>I go change the barrel and come back up.<span style=""> </span>I give the guy a beer and he says again that he would have done it for me.<span style=""> </span>I say something like I can handle it, I’m tough in a joking way and take his money.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >Thank god someone else comes in the bar now.<span style=""> </span>It’s one of the regulars, I get him his drink and talk to him a little.<span style=""> </span>At the same time the other guy keeps calling me down by him to tell be some crude joke or make some sexually inappropriate comment.<span style=""> </span>The regular, who normally only has one drink then heads home, actually orders another and states that he doesn’t want to leave me alone with this guy.<span style=""> </span>I am appreciative of this, but I know that he doesn’t stay if there is a creepy guy there when one of the male bartenders is working.<span style=""> </span>He feels he needs to protect the women that work here.<span style=""> </span>Chivalry? Sexism?<span style=""> </span>Depends what mood I’m in I guess, but right now I’m relieved.<span style=""> </span>Does that mean I’m feeding the women need men to protect them stereotype?<span style=""> </span>I don’t know, but I’m still grateful there is someone else in the bar.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >A couple of other regular customers file in after a while.<span style=""> </span>All men.<span style=""> </span>They are usually pretty respectful, so I forgive the occasional “thanks hun”, or “hey sweetheart, when you get a second. . .”<span style=""> </span>Now I have a legitimate reason to ignore the creepy/bad joke guy that is still trying to engage me with crude jokes and comments. He’s only on his second beer, so I can’t really kick him out.<span style=""> </span>Now that there are more people in the bar, I feel more secure and relax a little.<span style=""> </span>I don’t think it matters that they are all men, I might feel just as relieved with a group of women that came in (that doesn’t really happen here, so I can’t say for sure), but maybe the fact that there men does of something to do with it.<span style=""> </span>I can’t believe that I’m even considering that as an option, feminist that I am, but now that I think about it I can’t say for sure I feel better that there are more people, or if it is specifically that they are men. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.65in; text-indent: -0.25in; line-height: 200%;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:100%;" ><span style="">q<span style=";font-family:";" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" >After work I go home, take my makeup off, wouldn’t be wearing make up if I wasn’t female. . .probably.<span style=""> </span>I type this journal, and now I am going to bed.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="line-height: 200%;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><br /></span>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-25673454122830003702008-03-04T16:02:00.000-08:002008-06-17T16:03:03.635-07:00Blaming the Victim: A Response to “The Linguistics of Blame,” by Kate Clark<p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b><br /> Unfortunately, blaming the victim for the crime against them is nothing new in this society, especially when it comes to men’s violence against women.<span style=""> </span>Kate Clark’s article, “The Linguistics of Blame,” looks at the language that media uses to cast blame onto the victim.<span style=""> </span>Clark focuses her attention on <i style="">The Sun</i>, a British tabloid/newspaper.<span style=""> </span>Although she focuses only on this one source, her ideas can be easily extended to other areas.<span style=""> </span>Blaming the victim is something that many people do, not only the media, often times without even realizing it.<span style=""> </span>It is engrained in western society.<span style=""> </span>Blaming a woman for her own rape is yet another way women are kept oppressed in society.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">Clark’s main focus in her article is the use of language and naming as a tool in laying blame.<span style=""> </span>She discusses how language can heighten blame or minimize blame.<span style=""> </span>Some of the names she mentions are “unmarried mum,” “blond,” and “divorcee,” these are labels of an<span style=""> </span>“available” woman (184).<span style=""> </span>In other words, woman who are not attached to men.<span style=""> </span>Clark gives the examples of, “wives,” “mothers,” and “girls” as “unavailable women” (186). It seems to be that there is less blame put on attackers or rapists of available women. In our western society it seems that it is a greater wrong to rape an “unavailable,” woman than one who is “available.”<span style=""> </span>It seems to be less favorable to rape another man’s woman.<span style=""> </span>Clark also discusses the term “Lolita,” which she states that “in <i style="">Sun</i> language means sexually active under-aged girl” (186).<span style=""> </span>The use of the term Lolita is bringing attention to the fact that an underage girl is either sexually active or dresses/acts in a percieved provocative manner.<span style=""> </span>By bringing attention to these attributes of the victim it is placing less blame on the attacker, because the man was supposedly provoked by the young girl, and more blame on the victim.<span style=""> </span>It suggests that the crime would have been less severe if it was done to a girl of the same age who was not sexually active or did not dress/act in a manor that could be perceived as provocative.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">It is not only the media that places blame on the victim.<span style=""> </span>Society as a whole has a tendency to place blame on rape victims.<span style=""> </span>The article, “The Moderating Role of Ambivalent Sexism: The Influence of Power Status on Perception of Rape Victim and Rapists,” by Niwako Yamawaki, Ryan Darby, and Adriane Queiroz, explore what variables seem to cause blame to be minimized for the perpetrator and put on to the victim.<span style=""> </span>They discuss how variables such as socioeconomic status, attractiveness, and relationships between the victim and the perpetrator can effect the amount of blame placed on the offender or the victim. </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">Yamawaki, Darby, and Queiroz discuss a study in which the conviction rate of unattractive offenders was higher than that of attractive offenders, and another study where the offenders perceived guilt was greater if their victim was attractive (Yamawaki et al, 42).<span style=""> </span>This really reflects on western culture as a whole, where perceived beauty is valued very highly.<span style=""> </span>Yamawaki, Darby, and Queiroz also examine study results which show that victims are blamed more if they are raped by a stranger instead of someone they know (Yamawaki et al, 45).<span style=""> </span>This is especially true if a husband rapes his wife.<span style=""> </span>Many people have a hard time understanding, or even acknowledging that there is rape occurs marriages.<span style=""> </span>This may stem from the historically patriarchal ideal that it is a wife’s duty to have sex with her husband, not a choice.<span style=""> </span>It is especially disturbing that women who are raped by men they know get blamed more than women raped by strangers.<span style=""> </span>It has been proven over and over that higher percentages of rapes occur when the victim knows the perpetrator. </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">Blaming the victim and minimizing the guilt of perpetrators has happened throughout history.<span style=""> </span>Perhaps it is done to help alleviate the fear of rape, placing blame on the victim indicates that the woman somehow provoked the rape, therefor placing fault on the woman.<span style=""> </span>Perhaps more likely, this blaming the victim has stemmed out of a historically patriarchal society.<span style=""> </span>A society which blames its women victims for their own rapes only to oppress them more.<span style=""> </span>Until more women realize that this is not an abnormal occurrence and start fighting to stand up for the victims, not much will change.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">Works Cited</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">Yamawaki, N., Darby, R., & Queiroz, A. (2007). The moderating role of ambivalent sexism: The influence of power status on perception [Electronic version]. The Journal of Social Psychology, 147(1), 41-56. from EBSCOhost.</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> <script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script></div>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-71543763238414105902008-03-01T17:55:00.000-08:002008-06-17T15:55:24.786-07:00Sojourner Truth and Intersectionality<div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p><span style=""> </span>Living from 1797 to 1883, Sojourner Truth an important part and a moving speaker on women’s rights and the abolition movement.<span style=""> </span>According to <u>American Reformers</u>, a collection of biographies published by HW Wilson, Truth’s most well known speech, “Ain’t I a Woman,” was given<br />the National Woman's Suffrage Convention in Akron, Ohio in response to men that spoke before her on the lack of physical strength and intelligence of women.<span style=""> </span>This speech and another of Truth’s speeches, “Keeping Things Going While Things Are Stirring,” are representative of early ideas of Intersectionality.<span style=""> </span>Truth spoke of these ideas before the term was even coined.<span style=""> </span>Truth speaks of her experiences of being a slave and black, and also of her experiences of being a woman. She speaks of both experiences to show her support for the women’s movement and to remind her listeners at the time that no two women’s experiences were the same based on race and economic standing.<span style=""> </span>She was one of the earliest to recognize and speak about the idea of Intersectionality.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>In Truth’s speech, “Ain’t I a Woman?” was in response to a previous speaker who had stated that women were inferior due to their weaker physical stature and lack of intelligence in comparison to men.<span style=""> </span>That same speaker also expressed that because of these weaknesses woman needed to be treated with care (American Reformists).<span style=""> </span>Truth makes her first distinction between races when she states, “Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman,” letting her listeners know that she was not treated in this “chivalrous” way because of her race (79).<span style=""> </span>She than points out that she has done the same physical labor that men do and give birth to a child.<span style=""> </span>Truth pointed out the different experience woman because of their race, and still recognizes the oppression that all women have experienced due to their sex.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>In Truth’s Speech, “Keeping the Things Going While Things Are Stirring,” she addresses the issue of Intersectionality more.<span style=""> </span>The second line of this speech she points out the differences between the experiences of a white woman and a black woman from the south at the time by stating, “I came from another field-the country of the slave” (79).<span style=""> </span>She later points out the differences of black woman and white woman again when she states that “white women are a great deal smarter, and know more than colored women, while colored woman gets do not know scaresly anything,” speaking on the differences of education between the two groups (80). </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>She also speaks on the difference between men and women, recalling the times she did physical labor in the fields with men doing the same amount of work, but receiving half of what the men made due to her sex.<span style=""> </span>She speaks clearly about her wish for women’s rights when she states, “I want women to have their rights.<span style=""> </span>In the courts women have no right, no voice; nobody speaks for them,” and then shortly after makes the distinction between the races again by stating, “I am about the only colored woman that goes about to speak for the rights of colored women” (80).<span style=""> </span>She speaks out against black men getting their rights but not black women and about all women not having rights. She makes it clear that she is for equal rights for everyone regardless of race and sex and says so clearly when she states, “I have been a forty years a slave and forty years free, and would be here forty years more to have equal rights for all” (80).<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 35.45pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">Sojourner Truth played an important role in the abolition movement and the women’s movement.<span style=""> </span>Her speeches moved many and have become part of American History.<span style=""> </span>Equally as important was her ability to not only recognizes the differences between the races but to speak openly about them to black and white women alike.<span style=""> </span>Truth was one of the earliest to see these differences and speak out in order to make a difference. </p> <p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoList" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: 200%;">Works Cited</p> <p class="MsoList" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in; line-height: 200%;">HW Wilson Company. (1985). Sojourner Truth. In American Reformers. Author. Retrieved February 24, 2008, from Wilson Web.</p> <script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-19635459486649774502008-02-20T15:00:00.000-08:002008-06-17T15:56:13.620-07:00A Response to: What Is Feminism? by Rosalind Delmar<div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>The reading <i style="">What Is Feminism?,</i> by Rosalind Delmar, was very interesting to read.<span style=""> </span>This reading seemed to be typical of what you would think a theoretical discussion would be.<span style=""> </span>Delmar focuses on the lack of solid definition for the term “Feminism,” and points out that there are many different view points within the group that identifies as feminists.<span style=""> </span>She also raises more than several questions about feminism and feminists, questions that are still relevant to feminism today.<span style=""> </span>One of the main questions she focuses on in this reading is whether or not a group can really be united if there is so much diversity within it.<span style=""> </span>It seems difficult for some to understand that there can be so many different positions in one group, sometimes opposing positions.<span style=""> </span>Feminism has received much criticism about this same lack of unity and solidarity on issues, it is difficult for some to take feminism seriously because of this.<span style=""> </span>Although this was a work from 1979 this lack of solid definition and unity still holds through today, and is something that most likely will continue.<span style=""> </span>It is an important issue and a relevant question for feminists today.</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>This reading was very typical of a theoretical discussion.<span style=""> </span>Delmar started it off with her title, “What Is Feminism?,” which is of course a question, and ended by stating that it was a question that can’t be answered yet.<span style=""> </span>She also leads the reader to contemplate whether or not there will ever be one solid definition for the term feminism.<span style=""> </span>The reading does much more to create more questions than to give any sort of answer.<span style=""> </span>Delmar attempts to give a basic definition of the term when she states that, “…a feminist is someone who holds that women suffer discrimination because of their sex, that they have specific needs which remain negated and unsatisfied, and that the satisfaction of these needs would require a radical change<span style=""> </span>(some would say a revolution even) in the social, economic, and political order,” but she still can’t state that this is the basic definition that everyone agrees on (p 27).<span style=""> </span>Delmar also questions whether or not any movement made by a group of women is feminism </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">(28).<span style=""> </span>Or if something done by a group that doesn’t identify as feminists can still be labeled as an act of feminism (29).<span style=""> </span>The reader is left really questioning what the true definition of the word feminist is, or if there can be just one definition.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>Delmar identifies an issue that is not a new concept, but one that is ongoing.<span style=""> </span>Although it is not a new idea, it is still one that not everyone is aware of.<span style=""> </span>Young people today may not know how many different viewpoints are in the group that identifies as feminist. They may not understand that one definition of the word feminist cannot and does not truly fit all.<span style=""> </span>Even though these differences exist many still try to assume that there is just one basic definition that every feminist fits into to.<span style=""> </span>Delmar views this as a problem and demonstrates this by stating, “the assumption that the meaning of feminism is ‘obvious’ needs to be challenged” (27).<span style=""> </span>Another issue that is brought up in this reading is the various images of feminists and feminism, which brings up even more questions.<span style=""> </span>Which image is correct? Are they all correct in their own right?<span style=""> </span>Are they all incorrect?<span style=""> </span>Can there even be one unifying image?<span style=""> </span>Delmar believes that the question of what it means to be a feminist must remain “an open one” (34).<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;"><span style=""> </span>Feminists today are still faced with great amounts of diversity within their social movement.<span style=""> </span>Some of the diversity is valued, but some is thought of as conflict and roadblocks.<span style=""> </span>It is an aspect of feminism that receives a lot of criticism and skepticism.<span style=""> </span>There are those that find it hard to take a group seriously when that group can’t even come to an agreement with themselves.<span style=""> </span>Delmar also ponders whether or not what is agreed on within feminism holds more significance than what is not (28).<span style=""> </span>Perhaps this is a question that feminists today need to look at and try to decide.<span style=""> </span>It is an ongoing issue and question within feminism, and it is no less important today than it was in 1979 or even during the first wave of feminism.<span style=""> </span>Delmar raised the questions then, more than a quarter of a century ago, and there still is no one solid definition of feminism.<span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> <script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script></div>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-45861784978889014322008-02-04T13:18:00.000-08:002008-02-04T13:20:00.020-08:00Funny. . .in a scary, "truthy" kind of way<object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YqOHquOkpaU&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YqOHquOkpaU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-67761097451910752702008-01-22T15:38:00.001-08:002008-01-25T10:48:37.482-08:00Why I Vote Pro-ChoiceCheck out other <a href="http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/choice-action-center/bfc08-home.html?wt.mc_id=bfc08_taf">blogs that participated in blog for choice</a><br /><br />Most of my life I have taken for granted my right to choose, until recently. The last several year this right has been threatened. Now, more than ever, it is important to me to make sure that my vote goes to secure this right for myself, and every other woman in this country. With the presidential election coming up it is very important to make sure you know who you are voting for. Safe, legal, and accessible abortions save women's lives. My vote also goes to try and get the government to fund comprehensive sex education programs for our youth to try and prevent more young women to have to make that difficult choice, instead of spending millions of dollars funding abstinence only programs with religious overtones. My vote goes to protect the rights of all women. To choose abortion is never an easy decision, but it is the right to that difficult choice that I will continue to fight tooth and nail for. It is nobody elses decision to make.<br /><br /><script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-97700802740971982008-01-20T17:58:00.000-08:002008-01-25T10:49:08.954-08:00Flipping awesomeI have been been a bzzagent for a couple of years now and have learned about some pretty cool products. I haven't been as active since they did big makeover of their site, but I still check it out every once and a while. During my latest cruize through bzzagent.com I ran across this blog in the frogpond. . . I couldn't stop reading. . . <span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">"Delve into Dooce, a blog chronicling the rise and fall (and subsequent rise) of Heather Armstrong, an ex-Morman web designer turned stay at home mom — with a brief stint in a mental hospital thrown in for good measure. In 2002, the blog got her fired. Now it fully supports her family of three (and their dog, Chuck)." </span><br /> -Bzz Agent .com</blockquote><br /><br />Seriously <a href="http://www.bzzagent.com//p/1152986026/darkhairedgirl">check it out</a>... Heather Armstrong is a riot and really tells it like it is.<br /><br />Oh yeah, if you don't know about bzzagent, or the frogpond, <a href="http://www.bzzagent.com/">check it out</a> here.<br /><br /><script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-80211890728213941442008-01-18T13:26:00.000-08:002008-01-25T10:49:31.784-08:00National Cervical Cancer ScreeningMore information on <a href="http://www.plannedparenthood.org/issues-action/std-hiv/national-cervical-cancer-screening-month.htm?source=cvxeml0108">Cervical Cancer</a><br /><script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-53635471859294217392008-01-18T10:46:00.000-08:002008-01-25T10:49:57.639-08:00Learning to Vote intelligently<a href="http://www.squidoo.com/voteintelligently">Learning to Vote intelligently on Squidoo</a><br />It's been a couple days, but I've been busy on Squidoo working on a lens for <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/dhghillaryclinton">Hillary</a> and a lens for <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/dhghillaryclinton">Barack</a>. In addition to those I have made a lens dedicated to learning about the various candidates (link above). I think it is extremely important that people educate themselves about the various candidate and how they stand on issues. Too many people vote without really knowing who they are voting for. <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/voteintelligently">This lens</a> points people to accurate information on the candidates (both Republicans and Democrats) and how they stand on all the issues.<br /><br />If you aren't a member of Squidoo yet, you should really consider <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/lensmaster/referral/K8eded">signing up</a>. . .plus, it's free!<br /><script src="http://badged.net/badged.js?u=http%3a%2f%2fdhgprovoked.blogspot.com%2f;t=The+Dark+Haired+Girl%3a+Provoked;dg=y;tf=y;dl=y;gb=y;nv=y;bl=y;rd=y;"></script>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-62750081258230192572008-01-14T11:11:00.000-08:002008-01-14T11:11:13.316-08:00Oh my. . .<a href="http://www.squidoo.com/Liberalism">20 Ways To Tell If You Are A Good Liberal! on Squidoo</a><br />Yikes. . .The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-38584875677061539602008-01-13T14:19:00.000-08:002008-01-13T14:19:24.735-08:00Obama's PlanToday, Obama released his plan to <a href="http://obama.3cdn.net/8335008b3be0e6391e_foi8mve29.pdf">stimulate the economy</a>. I'm still not entirely sure who I am backing, but this sure makes some sense.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-72343589125264061302008-01-13T12:38:00.000-08:002008-01-13T12:38:53.655-08:00Women vs. Oprah :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Robert Novak<a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/novak/739186,CST-NWS-novak13.article">Women vs. Oprah :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Robert Novak</a><br />Should Oprah be criticized because she backed Obama and not Hillary. . . Is gender more important than race?. . . Does everything have to do with either gender or race, or can someone back a candidate for other reasons??The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-64356103783549503892008-01-12T14:52:00.000-08:002008-01-12T14:53:34.479-08:00Mobile BloggingIn addition to trying to blog more often in the new year, I am also going to check out the whole mobile blogging thing. That should make it much easier to post more often, even without a connection.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-68687745446767732552008-01-12T12:48:00.000-08:002008-01-12T12:49:11.669-08:00It's time again for: Blog for Choice DayNARAL is once again asking for pro-choice bloggers to honer the 35th anniversary of Roe V Wade by blogging for choice on January 22, 2008. This years topic is to discuss the importance of voting pro-choice. Check out the link below!<br /><a href="http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/choice-action-center/bfc08-home.html?wt.mc_id=bfc08_taf" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/assets/graphics/bfc_day_button_200.jpg" alt="Blog for Choice Day" height="123" width="200" /></a>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-77401129936485943782008-01-09T11:48:00.000-08:002008-01-13T14:20:29.797-08:00Cervical Cancer Awareness MonthRemember that January is Cervical Cancer Awareness month! Every female should educate herself on <a href="http://www.thehpvtest.com/">cervical cancer and HPV</a>. . .<br /><a href="http://dhgprovoked.blogspot.com/2007/01/cervical-cancer-and-hpv-test.html"><br />Last years pos</a><a href="http://dhgprovoked.blogspot.com/2007/01/cervical-cancer-and-hpv-test.html">t</a> on cervical cancerThe Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-61530868581063934482008-01-02T11:40:00.000-08:002008-01-12T11:48:59.049-08:00Laziest Blogger EverWell, it is now 2008 and I haven't actually blogged since the summer. Oops. Let me just tell you it has been the busiest semester of school I have ever experienced. . .but one semester left and then I am done, at least for a while. January is typically the time for resolutions and such, and just like everyone else I suppose I should at least try. Out of several, one is to keep up with blogging and related activities. At least more often than once in six months. . . So I am sincerely going to try and not be so lazy with the blogging. . .wish me luck!The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-13127489385925955122007-07-28T15:00:00.000-07:002007-07-28T15:04:53.361-07:00For the lazy/busy feministI just ran across this article entitled <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?15-Daily-Feminist-Activities&id=647921">15 Daily Feminist Activities</a>, it gives great ideas on how to be active in your feminism without having to spend lots of money or time, which are things that most of us don't have enough of anyway. Anyway, I know I am guilty for not being real active in most of my activism at times, so I really liked this article, It's short, so please take the time to check it out!The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-41277683058594982282007-07-17T13:44:00.000-07:002007-07-28T14:24:37.024-07:00Equal ParentingSince I am a single mom, and the father <span style="font-weight: bold;">chooses</span> not to be a significant part of my son's life, people love to tell me about the importance of equal parenting. Or in other words, having both parents in a child's life. Well I think it would be a wonderful thing for every child to have two loving, responsible, and attentive biological parents, this is not always the case.<br /><br />In our case the father chooses not to be a part of my son's life, and now I've come to accept it. He is not the best role model, nor is he stable, and is incredibly self centered. Yet people keep telling me how I am somehow ruining my son's chances to be successful if his biological father is not in his life. I have a question for them: How can I force someone to step up, when they have repeatedly made it clear that they are not interested in the whole "father role." And really why would I want someone who is constantly a bad influence and negative role model as a regular fixture in my son's life???<br /><br />I do however believe that children need both male and female role models in their lives, and they need to be stable and constant. However just because one biological parent cannot or will not play that part does not automatically damn the child into being unsuccessful in life. Although my son's biological father is not in his life he has several constant, stable, and responsible male role models that are significant parts of his life. He has just as much of a chance of living a happy and successful life as a kid with two parents, and no one can convince me otherwise.<br /><br />Check out the book, <a href="http://astore.amazon.com/thedarkhairedgirl-20/detail/1579548814/105-2735427-4913203"><span style="font-style: italic;">Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms are Raising the Next Generation of Exceptional Men</span></a>, by Peggy Drexler and Linden Gross. I read it about 6 months ago and really found it useful.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-69893104470111500742007-02-24T11:28:00.000-08:002007-02-25T13:37:01.771-08:00Who pays?Ok, so I haven't posted in a while, but I have been very busy lately. I am having the semester from hell, and have homework coming out of my ears. I also recently have acquired a boyfriend. This has brought up all sorts of interesting issues for me. Recently we were out at one of my favorite bars, it was his first time with me there. I introduced my friends including the bartender to my boyfriend. So then we went up to get drinks and we both set our money up at the bar. The bartender takes the money for both of our drinks out of my boyfriends money and looks at him and says that he "likes to see a woman treated like one." Well, this was a little uncomfortable for me, my boyfriend just thought it was funny, but I just kind of ignored and moved on with the night. Later on in the night I went up to buy us both another drink and the bartender told me that "my man" should be up there paying for us, not me. I told him that my boyfriend had bought me plenty of drinks that night and that it was my turn, and he told me that if he was a decent guy I shouldn't have to spend a dime. At this point I just rolled my eyes and walked away. The bartender is a friend of mine, but that really bothers me. . . It is 2007, I think we can get past the whole guy has to pay thing.<br /><br />Shortly after this situation, my mother was asking me if we were in a relationship, or if we were just seeing each other. Then she told me that the way to tell if we were in a real relationship was whether or not he payed for me. This just shocked the you-know-what out of me. This is coming from my mother, who was the one who taught me about feminism.<br /><br />Ug... what a weird couple weeksThe Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-4539846669313378722007-01-22T10:57:00.000-08:002007-01-22T11:51:56.653-08:00Blog for Choice: Pro-Choice MommySo today is the 34th anniversary of Roe v Wade, <a href="http://www.bushvchoice.com/blog_choice_day.html">NARAL</a> asked pro-choice bloggers to blog today about the reasons they are pro-choice. Here goes:<br /><br />There are so many reasons, I don't even know how to get started. I believe strongly that women have the right to decide when and if to bear children. Pregnancy is not an easy thing to go through, and changes your body permanently, no one should be forced to go through that.<br /><br />Many of the anti-choice leaders are men, and <span style="font-style: italic;">none of them</span> will ever be pregnant. Why should they get to decide whether or not a woman should go through a pregnancy. Many of these same men also don't believe that rape and incest victims should have access or education about emergency contraception or abortion.<br /><br />Whether or not abortion is legal and accessible, it would still happen. Many women have and still suffer, have permanent damage, or die painful deaths from abortions not done by professionals when legal abortion is not accessible or legal. To prevent this from happening every woman should have the right to education about and accessibility to a safe, legal, abortion.<br /><br />I think that there are endless valid reasons why a women would choose to have an abortion, I could start listing them off, but I don't know where to start, or when to end. From the woman who was raped, to the woman who will die if she stays pregnant, or the child victim of rape or incest, or the woman who just cannot afford to have a child, or the college student that wants to finish school, or the woman who is profoundly addicted to drugs, and so many others. All of these women and the women I didn't list should have the right to choose what is best for them and their bodies.<br /><br />I know there are many more reasons for my being pro-choice, but when you get to the bottom of it all, it's because I believe the choice to go through a pregnancy should be given to all woman.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-86986678692759888022007-01-17T08:49:00.000-08:002007-01-17T08:50:01.572-08:00Cervical Cancer and the HPV Test<a href="http://www.thehpvtest.com/">HPV and Cervical Cancer - Information on HPV Virus, HPV Test and Pap Smear - TheHPVTest.com</a><br />I'm sure you have all heard about HPV (human papillomavirus) and of course its high link to cervical cancer, what you may not know is that a normal Pap doesn't always detect the abnormal cell growth that later turns into cervical cancer. Next time you get a Pap, which you should be getting yearly, ask to get the HPV test. Visit the site listed above to learn more about HPV and the HPV test. You can also receive a free <a href="http://www.thehpvtest.com/community-HPV-choose-to-know.html">"choose to know" bracelet</a>. This is a must see site for every woman!The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-29975883807007667402007-01-17T07:24:00.000-08:002007-01-17T07:25:48.258-08:00Girlistic.com<a href="http://www.girlistic.com/">Girlistic-Your ultimate feminist resource.</a><br />Just came across this site randomly today. Spent about 20 minutes checking it out, then added it to my bookmark tool bar. They are good place to find news, ideas for activism, they have a blog, and a free magazine, which you can download. I just wanted to pass this along as it seems like an awesome source.<a href="http://www2.blogger.com/ultimate%20feminist%20resource,%20where%20all%20things%20women-centered%20can%20be%20found%20within%20a%20few%20clicks."></a>The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-26697557685627566812007-01-15T08:05:00.001-08:002007-01-15T08:06:00.012-08:00The Dark Haired Girl on CafePress<a href="http://www.cafepress.com/dhgdesigns">DHG Designs: Feminist Gear : CafePress.com</a><br /><br />I've been doing CafePress for over a year now, and I just upgraded to a premium store. I in the process of adding all my designs to it in an organized fashion. Please check it out, it's a work in progress, and I would love any sort of feedback.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-74460588731333147472007-01-12T13:20:00.000-08:002007-01-12T14:10:16.932-08:00Blog For Choice day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.bushvchoice.com/images/blog_button_2007.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.bushvchoice.com/images/blog_button_2007.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>January 22 is the 34th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, <a href="http://prochoiceamerica.org/">NARAL Pro-Choice America</a> would like pro-choice bloggers to blog about why you are pro-choice on that day. You can <a href="http://www.bushvchoice.com/blog_choice_day.html">sign up here</a>, and go here to get the <a href="http://www.bushvchoice.com/images/blog_button_2007.jpg">sidebar graphic</a> to let your readers know what you are doing.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5826260585126748032.post-73655694087914168932007-01-04T14:25:00.000-08:002007-01-04T14:26:38.600-08:00Project Vote SmartOk, so my timing is a little off for talking about voting, but this is so cool I need to share it anyway. <a href="http://votesmart.org/">Project Vote Smart</a> is a place where you can go to learn about candidates and current officials. You can see what they have voted for or against, different speeches they've made, how various interest groups rate them. . .etc. It is a good source to get non-biased information. Check it out and get a head start on learning about the various candidates/possible candidates.The Dark Haired Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11837323950158316752noreply@blogger.com0