The Dark Haired Girl: Provoked

Gender Diary

2008-03-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

This is something we were asked to do in a class, I found it interesting and decided to share it. We were asked to keep a diary for a day and journal anything that identified gender. . .
q Wake up at around 5:30, turn my alarm off before it wakes up my son

q Get in the shower
-I shampoo and condition my hair with Samypure, which comes in a bright pink bottle and has a distinctively feminine scent
-I wash with melon and cucumber body wash, which also is in a feminine looking bottle
–Then I shave with a pink razor . . .Its definitely a gender thing to shave my legs and my armpits. . .but I just noticed, I also do it with a pink razor.

q Get out of the shower, brush my teeth, put my hair up in a towel and get dressed
–I put on women’s undergarments. . . that’s a gender thing. . .and then put on nylons, tan dress pants, and a black blouse (blouse. . . now that’s definitely a “girl thing”)

q I go into my son Christian’s room, get his clothes out of his dresser, wake him up, tell him to go potty and then I help him get dressed (these things I do as a mom which is a gender thing, but also because I am a parent, and a single parent, so it is up to me whether I am a mom or if I happened to be a single dad—although, single moms are definitely more prominent than single dads) Historically in two parent families, it was the mom’s job to do these motherly type things anyway.

q We go to the kitchen and I get Christian yogurt and make him a frozen pancake and blow dry my hair. Blow drying is not necessarily a gender thing, but my hair cut which is longer and layered is a pretty feminine hair cut.

q I plug my curling iron in and gather my things, which includes another set of clothes, because I also have to work tonight- Wednesdays are a long day, and get Christian’s things together. Another mom thing, we brush our teeth and I curl my hair (gender thing).

q We get everything we need out to the car, I get Christian in his car seat, and we head out to the babysitters

q Once we get to the babysitter’s house she starts talking to me about a Pampered Chef party she will be having—yuck, if I was male, I can almost guarantee that no one would bug me about going to a Pampered Chef, Lia Sophia, Partylite, Mary Kay, etc. . . blah, I tell her I’ll check my calendar. I give Christian extra hugs and kisses today because I know I won’t get home until after he is in bed (his grandma picks him up Wednesday nights—it’s interesting, he goes to a female baby sitter, my female mother picks him up and watches him Wednesday nights, and when he goes to school all of his teachers and the daycare workers are female)

q I head out to my internship at The Salvation Army. I stop in a park parking lot to put on makeup- gender thing- the parking lot thing is just because it is easier for me to put my make up on without a three year old asking me if he can help and coming at my eyes with an eyelash curler—Yikes. The fact that I even use an eyelash curler seems ridiculous to me when I think about it. . .who decided that women needed to have long lashes. . . and everyone I know that has naturally long and pretty eye lashes happens to be male. Figures.

q I park and grab my purse and tote – my purse. . .also another feminine thing and go in.

q I am a senior in the Social Work program and have had my field practice/internship since September at the Salvation Army working as a social worker.

q The first thing I have this morning is an interview with someone on the waiting list to get into the transitional living program. I interview a male who throughout the interview won’t make eye contact with me and continually calls me ma’am.

q After the interview I call some of the other local agencies that this person has been working with. I speak with several social worker from these agencies, and then it dawns on me that everyone I speak with is female. . . then I think about the fact that all of the social workers at my internship are female—except for the director, who happens to be male. There is only one male in the senior year of the social work program I am in. I the field of social work a gender thing. There are males, but the field really is dominated by women. “Pink-collar” I’ve heard it called. Is that because it is a helping field, and nurturing, compassion, and empathy are historically thought of as women’s traits.

q After my interview I am sitting in my supervisors office talking to her about the interview, and another one of the case workers comes in and starts talking about her husband. She is complaining about how he leaves food out on the counter for hours, and then eats it. We all compare our stories about the stupid food things our husbands/boyfriends do, and make all sorts of generalizations about men in general. I don’t think I would get in on this man bashing if I was male.

q Next there is the case management staffing meeting. The meeting consists of 4 women, including myself, and one guy (he is the Life Skills Coordinator, not a social worker). The meeting starts out in the typical way, where everyone complains about a particular female employee at the Corps. It has nothing to do with the purpose of this meeting, but it happens every time anyway. The whole meeting should only take about an hour and a half, if we all just stuck to talking about our clients, but it ends up taking between 3 and 3 ½ hours every time because it tends to turn into a gossip session, which is, stereotypically, a woman thing to do. Is this gendered? I don’t know, I have a group of male friends who gossip more than any woman I have ever met.

q After the meeting I have to rush out and go to my job. I work at a small bar. I unlock the door and then lock the door again behind me. I make sure I re-lock the door, because I need to change clothes and I don’t feel comfortable being a woman alone in a closed bar changing clothes.

q I go to the bathroom and change out of my definitely feminine clothes into jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. I am almost un-gendering my clothes. I don’t wear short skirts, heals, or low cut clothing to bartend here, yes, I’d probably get more tips, but I’d have to put up with a lot more crap. I throw on a pair of tennis shoes. Then I redo my make-up. Oops, now that’s definitely something that I identify with being a woman.

q I get ice, cut fruit, fill the sinks, turn on the lights, and wipe down the bar. I normally stock the cooler before I unlock the doors (because I don’t like leaving the bar to go to the basement when there are people there), but I don’t have time today because of the meeting that ran way over. So I unlock the doors and wait.

q I start making popcorn right after I open, then someone walks in the front door and sits down at the bar. It’s a middle aged guy, I have never seen before. I say hi and ask what I can get for him. Then he decides he needs to introduce himself, shake my hand, and asks my name. I say I’m Kate, and go get him his beer. I give him his beer take his money and he says, “thanks sweetheart” and I smile and say “mm hmm” but I’m thinking, “why did I just tell you my name if your going to call me sweetheart??” He continues trying to talk to me and keeps telling me some pretty crude jokes and I laugh politely and am super relieved when the popcorn starts popping so I can go take care of that.

q I don’t know this guy, have never seen him before, but he comes off as a little creepy and my sensors are out. I’ve learned to be wary when I am here, especially when I am the only one working (which is usually since I don’t do a lot of weekends since Christian was born). Would I be so sensitive and alert if I were one of the male employees here? Probably not, and I know they are not. If I am alone in the bar with a male who I don’t know, or one that is making me uncomfortable, I am always aware of where I’m standing, what’s around me, how they are moving, and what is in distance for me to grab and hit someone over the head with (seriously), and it happens naturally, I can still talk and smile and be a good bartender while thinking about all those other things. And even if someone is making me a little nervous, I never act nervous—in my experience, in this profession, some men that come in and can tell your nervous continue to try and make it worse and take it as an opportunity. I might feel intimidated, but I never let on, and am very alert of my plan of action if something happens. Once again, if I was one of the guys here this probably would not be as much of an issue. I know all of the other women who work here and are here alone are the same way, they all are confident and assertive, or bitchy as some put it, and don’t ever dress provocatively. It’s a safety thing.

q The guy calls me over again (he calls me “honey” this time) and orders another beer. So I open the tap and it sprays all over me which means its out and I need to go to the basement to change it. I tell him its out and ask if he wants something else, of course he doesn’t. Then he tells me to show him were the barrels are and he’ll tap it for me. I tell him not to worry about it. I grab the keys to the basement and unlock the door when I notice he is walking towards me. He offers again to go do it. (a lot of guys offer to do this for me and the other women who work here—this is kind of a gender thing to I guess, because barrels are heavy and it takes a little muscle to tap them, and women are of course so much weaker than men and obviously can’t handle such a strenuous task *sarcasm). I jokingly tell the guy to go sit down and open the door. I make sure to shut the door behind me because it locks automatically and I don’t need some random man following me down the steps. I go change the barrel and come back up. I give the guy a beer and he says again that he would have done it for me. I say something like I can handle it, I’m tough in a joking way and take his money.

q Thank god someone else comes in the bar now. It’s one of the regulars, I get him his drink and talk to him a little. At the same time the other guy keeps calling me down by him to tell be some crude joke or make some sexually inappropriate comment. The regular, who normally only has one drink then heads home, actually orders another and states that he doesn’t want to leave me alone with this guy. I am appreciative of this, but I know that he doesn’t stay if there is a creepy guy there when one of the male bartenders is working. He feels he needs to protect the women that work here. Chivalry? Sexism? Depends what mood I’m in I guess, but right now I’m relieved. Does that mean I’m feeding the women need men to protect them stereotype? I don’t know, but I’m still grateful there is someone else in the bar.

q A couple of other regular customers file in after a while. All men. They are usually pretty respectful, so I forgive the occasional “thanks hun”, or “hey sweetheart, when you get a second. . .” Now I have a legitimate reason to ignore the creepy/bad joke guy that is still trying to engage me with crude jokes and comments. He’s only on his second beer, so I can’t really kick him out. Now that there are more people in the bar, I feel more secure and relax a little. I don’t think it matters that they are all men, I might feel just as relieved with a group of women that came in (that doesn’t really happen here, so I can’t say for sure), but maybe the fact that there men does of something to do with it. I can’t believe that I’m even considering that as an option, feminist that I am, but now that I think about it I can’t say for sure I feel better that there are more people, or if it is specifically that they are men.

q After work I go home, take my makeup off, wouldn’t be wearing make up if I wasn’t female. . .probably. I type this journal, and now I am going to bed.

Blaming the Victim: A Response to “The Linguistics of Blame,” by Kate Clark

2008-03-04T16:02:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, blaming the victim for the crime against them is nothing new in this society, especially when it comes to men’s violence against women. Kate Clark’s article, “The Linguistics of Blame,” looks at the language that media uses to cast blame onto the victim. Clark focuses her attention on The Sun, a British tabloid/newspaper. Although she focuses only on this one source, her ideas can be easily extended to other areas. Blaming the victim is something that many people do, not only the media, often times without even realizing it. It is engrained in western society. Blaming a woman for her own rape is yet another way women are kept oppressed in society.

Clark’s main focus in her article is the use of language and naming as a tool in laying blame. She discusses how language can heighten blame or minimize blame. Some of the names she mentions are “unmarried mum,” “blond,” and “divorcee,” these are labels of an “available” woman (184). In other words, woman who are not attached to men. Clark gives the examples of, “wives,” “mothers,” and “girls” as “unavailable women” (186). It seems to be that there is less blame put on attackers or rapists of available women. In our western society it seems that it is a greater wrong to rape an “unavailable,” woman than one who is “available.” It seems to be less favorable to rape another man’s woman. Clark also discusses the term “Lolita,” which she states that “in Sun language means sexually active under-aged girl” (186). The use of the term Lolita is bringing attention to the fact that an underage girl is either sexually active or dresses/acts in a percieved provocative manner. By bringing attention to these attributes of the victim it is placing less blame on the attacker, because the man was supposedly provoked by the young girl, and more blame on the victim. It suggests that the crime would have been less severe if it was done to a girl of the same age who was not sexually active or did not dress/act in a manor that could be perceived as provocative.

It is not only the media that places blame on the victim. Society as a whole has a tendency to place blame on rape victims. The article, “The Moderating Role of Ambivalent Sexism: The Influence of Power Status on Perception of Rape Victim and Rapists,” by Niwako Yamawaki, Ryan Darby, and Adriane Queiroz, explore what variables seem to cause blame to be minimized for the perpetrator and put on to the victim. They discuss how variables such as socioeconomic status, attractiveness, and relationships between the victim and the perpetrator can effect the amount of blame placed on the offender or the victim.

Yamawaki, Darby, and Queiroz discuss a study in which the conviction rate of unattractive offenders was higher than that of attractive offenders, and another study where the offenders perceived guilt was greater if their victim was attractive (Yamawaki et al, 42). This really reflects on western culture as a whole, where perceived beauty is valued very highly. Yamawaki, Darby, and Queiroz also examine study results which show that victims are blamed more if they are raped by a stranger instead of someone they know (Yamawaki et al, 45). This is especially true if a husband rapes his wife. Many people have a hard time understanding, or even acknowledging that there is rape occurs marriages. This may stem from the historically patriarchal ideal that it is a wife’s duty to have sex with her husband, not a choice. It is especially disturbing that women who are raped by men they know get blamed more than women raped by strangers. It has been proven over and over that higher percentages of rapes occur when the victim knows the perpetrator.

Blaming the victim and minimizing the guilt of perpetrators has happened throughout history. Perhaps it is done to help alleviate the fear of rape, placing blame on the victim indicates that the woman somehow provoked the rape, therefor placing fault on the woman. Perhaps more likely, this blaming the victim has stemmed out of a historically patriarchal society. A society which blames its women victims for their own rapes only to oppress them more. Until more women realize that this is not an abnormal occurrence and start fighting to stand up for the victims, not much will change.

Works Cited

Yamawaki, N., Darby, R., & Queiroz, A. (2007). The moderating role of ambivalent sexism: The influence of power status on perception [Electronic version]. The Journal of Social Psychology, 147(1), 41-56. from EBSCOhost.

Sojourner Truth and Intersectionality

2008-03-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

Living from 1797 to 1883, Sojourner Truth an important part and a moving speaker on women’s rights and the abolition movement. According to American Reformers, a collection of biographies published by HW Wilson, Truth’s most well known speech, “Ain’t I a Woman,” was given
the National Woman's Suffrage Convention in Akron, Ohio in response to men that spoke before her on the lack of physical strength and intelligence of women. This speech and another of Truth’s speeches, “Keeping Things Going While Things Are Stirring,” are representative of early ideas of Intersectionality. Truth spoke of these ideas before the term was even coined. Truth speaks of her experiences of being a slave and black, and also of her experiences of being a woman. She speaks of both experiences to show her support for the women’s movement and to remind her listeners at the time that no two women’s experiences were the same based on race and economic standing. She was one of the earliest to recognize and speak about the idea of Intersectionality.

In Truth’s speech, “Ain’t I a Woman?” was in response to a previous speaker who had stated that women were inferior due to their weaker physical stature and lack of intelligence in comparison to men. That same speaker also expressed that because of these weaknesses woman needed to be treated with care (American Reformists). Truth makes her first distinction between races when she states, “Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman,” letting her listeners know that she was not treated in this “chivalrous” way because of her race (79). She than points out that she has done the same physical labor that men do and give birth to a child. Truth pointed out the different experience woman because of their race, and still recognizes the oppression that all women have experienced due to their sex.

In Truth’s Speech, “Keeping the Things Going While Things Are Stirring,” she addresses the issue of Intersectionality more. The second line of this speech she points out the differences between the experiences of a white woman and a black woman from the south at the time by stating, “I came from another field-the country of the slave” (79). She later points out the differences of black woman and white woman again when she states that “white women are a great deal smarter, and know more than colored women, while colored woman gets do not know scaresly anything,” speaking on the differences of education between the two groups (80).

She also speaks on the difference between men and women, recalling the times she did physical labor in the fields with men doing the same amount of work, but receiving half of what the men made due to her sex. She speaks clearly about her wish for women’s rights when she states, “I want women to have their rights. In the courts women have no right, no voice; nobody speaks for them,” and then shortly after makes the distinction between the races again by stating, “I am about the only colored woman that goes about to speak for the rights of colored women” (80). She speaks out against black men getting their rights but not black women and about all women not having rights. She makes it clear that she is for equal rights for everyone regardless of race and sex and says so clearly when she states, “I have been a forty years a slave and forty years free, and would be here forty years more to have equal rights for all” (80).

Sojourner Truth played an important role in the abolition movement and the women’s movement. Her speeches moved many and have become part of American History. Equally as important was her ability to not only recognizes the differences between the races but to speak openly about them to black and white women alike. Truth was one of the earliest to see these differences and speak out in order to make a difference.

Works Cited

HW Wilson Company. (1985). Sojourner Truth. In American Reformers. Author. Retrieved February 24, 2008, from Wilson Web.

A Response to: What Is Feminism? by Rosalind Delmar

2008-02-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

The reading What Is Feminism?, by Rosalind Delmar, was very interesting to read. This reading seemed to be typical of what you would think a theoretical discussion would be. Delmar focuses on the lack of solid definition for the term “Feminism,” and points out that there are many different view points within the group that identifies as feminists. She also raises more than several questions about feminism and feminists, questions that are still relevant to feminism today. One of the main questions she focuses on in this reading is whether or not a group can really be united if there is so much diversity within it. It seems difficult for some to understand that there can be so many different positions in one group, sometimes opposing positions. Feminism has received much criticism about this same lack of unity and solidarity on issues, it is difficult for some to take feminism seriously because of this. Although this was a work from 1979 this lack of solid definition and unity still holds through today, and is something that most likely will continue. It is an important issue and a relevant question for feminists today.

This reading was very typical of a theoretical discussion. Delmar started it off with her title, “What Is Feminism?,” which is of course a question, and ended by stating that it was a question that can’t be answered yet. She also leads the reader to contemplate whether or not there will ever be one solid definition for the term feminism. The reading does much more to create more questions than to give any sort of answer. Delmar attempts to give a basic definition of the term when she states that, “…a feminist is someone who holds that women suffer discrimination because of their sex, that they have specific needs which remain negated and unsatisfied, and that the satisfaction of these needs would require a radical change (some would say a revolution even) in the social, economic, and political order,” but she still can’t state that this is the basic definition that everyone agrees on (p 27). Delmar also questions whether or not any movement made by a group of women is feminism

(28). Or if something done by a group that doesn’t identify as feminists can still be labeled as an act of feminism (29). The reader is left really questioning what the true definition of the word feminist is, or if there can be just one definition.

Delmar identifies an issue that is not a new concept, but one that is ongoing. Although it is not a new idea, it is still one that not everyone is aware of. Young people today may not know how many different viewpoints are in the group that identifies as feminist. They may not understand that one definition of the word feminist cannot and does not truly fit all. Even though these differences exist many still try to assume that there is just one basic definition that every feminist fits into to. Delmar views this as a problem and demonstrates this by stating, “the assumption that the meaning of feminism is ‘obvious’ needs to be challenged” (27). Another issue that is brought up in this reading is the various images of feminists and feminism, which brings up even more questions. Which image is correct? Are they all correct in their own right? Are they all incorrect? Can there even be one unifying image? Delmar believes that the question of what it means to be a feminist must remain “an open one” (34).

Feminists today are still faced with great amounts of diversity within their social movement. Some of the diversity is valued, but some is thought of as conflict and roadblocks. It is an aspect of feminism that receives a lot of criticism and skepticism. There are those that find it hard to take a group seriously when that group can’t even come to an agreement with themselves. Delmar also ponders whether or not what is agreed on within feminism holds more significance than what is not (28). Perhaps this is a question that feminists today need to look at and try to decide. It is an ongoing issue and question within feminism, and it is no less important today than it was in 1979 or even during the first wave of feminism. Delmar raised the questions then, more than a quarter of a century ago, and there still is no one solid definition of feminism.

Funny. . .in a scary, "truthy" kind of way

2008-02-04T13:18:00.000-08:00

Why I Vote Pro-Choice

2008-01-22T15:38:00.001-08:00

Check out other blogs that participated in blog for choice

Most of my life I have taken for granted my right to choose, until recently. The last several year this right has been threatened. Now, more than ever, it is important to me to make sure that my vote goes to secure this right for myself, and every other woman in this country. With the presidential election coming up it is very important to make sure you know who you are voting for. Safe, legal, and accessible abortions save women's lives. My vote also goes to try and get the government to fund comprehensive sex education programs for our youth to try and prevent more young women to have to make that difficult choice, instead of spending millions of dollars funding abstinence only programs with religious overtones. My vote goes to protect the rights of all women. To choose abortion is never an easy decision, but it is the right to that difficult choice that I will continue to fight tooth and nail for. It is nobody elses decision to make.

Flipping awesome

2008-01-20T17:58:00.000-08:00

I have been been a bzzagent for a couple of years now and have learned about some pretty cool products. I haven't been as active since they did big makeover of their site, but I still check it out every once and a while. During my latest cruize through bzzagent.com I ran across this blog in the frogpond. . . I couldn't stop reading. . .

"Delve into Dooce, a blog chronicling the rise and fall (and subsequent rise) of Heather Armstrong, an ex-Morman web designer turned stay at home mom — with a brief stint in a mental hospital thrown in for good measure. In 2002, the blog got her fired. Now it fully supports her family of three (and their dog, Chuck)."
-Bzz Agent .com

Seriously check it out... Heather Armstrong is a riot and really tells it like it is.

Oh yeah, if you don't know about bzzagent, or the frogpond, check it out here.

National Cervical Cancer Screening

2008-01-18T13:26:00.000-08:00

More information on Cervical Cancer

Learning to Vote intelligently

2008-01-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

Learning to Vote intelligently on Squidoo
It's been a couple days, but I've been busy on Squidoo working on a lens for Hillary and a lens for Barack. In addition to those I have made a lens dedicated to learning about the various candidates (link above). I think it is extremely important that people educate themselves about the various candidate and how they stand on issues. Too many people vote without really knowing who they are voting for. This lens points people to accurate information on the candidates (both Republicans and Democrats) and how they stand on all the issues.

If you aren't a member of Squidoo yet, you should really consider signing up. . .plus, it's free!

Oh my. . .

2008-01-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

20 Ways To Tell If You Are A Good Liberal! on Squidoo
Yikes. . .

Obama's Plan

2008-01-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

Today, Obama released his plan to stimulate the economy. I'm still not entirely sure who I am backing, but this sure makes some sense.

Women vs. Oprah :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Robert Novak

2008-01-13T12:38:00.000-08:00

Women vs. Oprah :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Robert Novak
Should Oprah be criticized because she backed Obama and not Hillary. . . Is gender more important than race?. . . Does everything have to do with either gender or race, or can someone back a candidate for other reasons??

Mobile Blogging

2008-01-12T14:52:00.000-08:00

In addition to trying to blog more often in the new year, I am also going to check out the whole mobile blogging thing. That should make it much easier to post more often, even without a connection.

It's time again for: Blog for Choice Day

2008-01-12T12:48:00.000-08:00

NARAL is once again asking for pro-choice bloggers to honer the 35th anniversary of Roe V Wade by blogging for choice on January 22, 2008. This years topic is to discuss the importance of voting pro-choice. Check out the link below!

Cervical Cancer Awareness Month

2008-01-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

Remember that January is Cervical Cancer Awareness month! Every female should educate herself on cervical cancer and HPV. . .

Last years pos t on cervical cancer

Laziest Blogger Ever

2008-01-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it is now 2008 and I haven't actually blogged since the summer. Oops. Let me just tell you it has been the busiest semester of school I have ever experienced. . .but one semester left and then I am done, at least for a while. January is typically the time for resolutions and such, and just like everyone else I suppose I should at least try. Out of several, one is to keep up with blogging and related activities. At least more often than once in six months. . . So I am sincerely going to try and not be so lazy with the blogging. . .wish me luck!

For the lazy/busy feminist

2007-07-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

I just ran across this article entitled 15 Daily Feminist Activities, it gives great ideas on how to be active in your feminism without having to spend lots of money or time, which are things that most of us don't have enough of anyway. Anyway, I know I am guilty for not being real active in most of my activism at times, so I really liked this article, It's short, so please take the time to check it out!

Equal Parenting

2007-07-17T13:44:00.000-07:00

Since I am a single mom, and the father chooses not to be a significant part of my son's life, people love to tell me about the importance of equal parenting. Or in other words, having both parents in a child's life. Well I think it would be a wonderful thing for every child to have two loving, responsible, and attentive biological parents, this is not always the case.

In our case the father chooses not to be a part of my son's life, and now I've come to accept it. He is not the best role model, nor is he stable, and is incredibly self centered. Yet people keep telling me how I am somehow ruining my son's chances to be successful if his biological father is not in his life. I have a question for them: How can I force someone to step up, when they have repeatedly made it clear that they are not interested in the whole "father role." And really why would I want someone who is constantly a bad influence and negative role model as a regular fixture in my son's life???

I do however believe that children need both male and female role models in their lives, and they need to be stable and constant. However just because one biological parent cannot or will not play that part does not automatically damn the child into being unsuccessful in life. Although my son's biological father is not in his life he has several constant, stable, and responsible male role models that are significant parts of his life. He has just as much of a chance of living a happy and successful life as a kid with two parents, and no one can convince me otherwise.

Check out the book, Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms are Raising the Next Generation of Exceptional Men, by Peggy Drexler and Linden Gross. I read it about 6 months ago and really found it useful.

Who pays?

2007-02-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I haven't posted in a while, but I have been very busy lately. I am having the semester from hell, and have homework coming out of my ears. I also recently have acquired a boyfriend. This has brought up all sorts of interesting issues for me. Recently we were out at one of my favorite bars, it was his first time with me there. I introduced my friends including the bartender to my boyfriend. So then we went up to get drinks and we both set our money up at the bar. The bartender takes the money for both of our drinks out of my boyfriends money and looks at him and says that he "likes to see a woman treated like one." Well, this was a little uncomfortable for me, my boyfriend just thought it was funny, but I just kind of ignored and moved on with the night. Later on in the night I went up to buy us both another drink and the bartender told me that "my man" should be up there paying for us, not me. I told him that my boyfriend had bought me plenty of drinks that night and that it was my turn, and he told me that if he was a decent guy I shouldn't have to spend a dime. At this point I just rolled my eyes and walked away. The bartender is a friend of mine, but that really bothers me. . . It is 2007, I think we can get past the whole guy has to pay thing.

Shortly after this situation, my mother was asking me if we were in a relationship, or if we were just seeing each other. Then she told me that the way to tell if we were in a real relationship was whether or not he payed for me. This just shocked the you-know-what out of me. This is coming from my mother, who was the one who taught me about feminism.

Ug... what a weird couple weeks

Blog for Choice: Pro-Choice Mommy

2007-01-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

So today is the 34th anniversary of Roe v Wade, NARAL asked pro-choice bloggers to blog today about the reasons they are pro-choice. Here goes:

There are so many reasons, I don't even know how to get started. I believe strongly that women have the right to decide when and if to bear children. Pregnancy is not an easy thing to go through, and changes your body permanently, no one should be forced to go through that.

Many of the anti-choice leaders are men, and none of them will ever be pregnant. Why should they get to decide whether or not a woman should go through a pregnancy. Many of these same men also don't believe that rape and incest victims should have access or education about emergency contraception or abortion.

Whether or not abortion is legal and accessible, it would still happen. Many women have and still suffer, have permanent damage, or die painful deaths from abortions not done by professionals when legal abortion is not accessible or legal. To prevent this from happening every woman should have the right to education about and accessibility to a safe, legal, abortion.

I think that there are endless valid reasons why a women would choose to have an abortion, I could start listing them off, but I don't know where to start, or when to end. From the woman who was raped, to the woman who will die if she stays pregnant, or the child victim of rape or incest, or the woman who just cannot afford to have a child, or the college student that wants to finish school, or the woman who is profoundly addicted to drugs, and so many others. All of these women and the women I didn't list should have the right to choose what is best for them and their bodies.

I know there are many more reasons for my being pro-choice, but when you get to the bottom of it all, it's because I believe the choice to go through a pregnancy should be given to all woman.

Cervical Cancer and the HPV Test

2007-01-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

HPV and Cervical Cancer - Information on HPV Virus, HPV Test and Pap Smear - TheHPVTest.com
I'm sure you have all heard about HPV (human papillomavirus) and of course its high link to cervical cancer, what you may not know is that a normal Pap doesn't always detect the abnormal cell growth that later turns into cervical cancer. Next time you get a Pap, which you should be getting yearly, ask to get the HPV test. Visit the site listed above to learn more about HPV and the HPV test. You can also receive a free "choose to know" bracelet. This is a must see site for every woman!

Girlistic.com

2007-01-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

Girlistic-Your ultimate feminist resource.
Just came across this site randomly today. Spent about 20 minutes checking it out, then added it to my bookmark tool bar. They are good place to find news, ideas for activism, they have a blog, and a free magazine, which you can download. I just wanted to pass this along as it seems like an awesome source.

The Dark Haired Girl on CafePress

2007-01-15T08:05:00.001-08:00

DHG Designs: Feminist Gear : CafePress.com

I've been doing CafePress for over a year now, and I just upgraded to a premium store. I in the process of adding all my designs to it in an organized fashion. Please check it out, it's a work in progress, and I would love any sort of feedback.

Blog For Choice day

2007-01-12T13:20:00.000-08:00

January 22 is the 34th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, NARAL Pro-Choice America would like pro-choice bloggers to blog about why you are pro-choice on that day. You can sign up here, and go here to get the sidebar graphic to let your readers know what you are doing.

Project Vote Smart

2007-01-04T14:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, so my timing is a little off for talking about voting, but this is so cool I need to share it anyway. Project Vote Smart is a place where you can go to learn about candidates and current officials. You can see what they have voted for or against, different speeches they've made, how various interest groups rate them. . .etc. It is a good source to get non-biased information. Check it out and get a head start on learning about the various candidates/possible candidates.

Guys and Dolls

2007-01-04T13:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, My son has a baby doll. He is very interested in babies and points them out wherever we go, so I bought him a doll. I have received several comments about it. One being that I am going to turn him gay, another that I only bought him a doll because I'm a feminist, and another that I shouldn't have had bought him that because it is not a "boy toy." It really kind of bugs me. I don't think that there is anything wrong with a little boy playing with a doll. . . it is a good open-ended toy, and it helps teach nurturing and compassion. Heaven forbid that he should grow up be a nurturing father. He also has a play kitchen so he would have something to do when I am trying to cook. Oh my, I guess a kitchen is a girl toy too. . .what am I doing to the poor boy. He also has an ungodly amount of stuffed animals, and trucks, and trains, and books, and blocks. . .and so on. He has a wide variety of toys, both "boy" and "girl." Oh man, I would hate for him to grow up well rounded.

I seriously don't know what the problem is. Maybe someone could tell me why it is so wrong??

Capris. . .Men repellent

2007-01-03T13:30:00.000-08:00

Every friend of mine that happens to be male complains about capris. Well actually any type of cropped pants on a woman. In fact, I have never ever heard anyone of the male sex say anything but negative things about them. I generally answer the anti-capris comments with a dry, "good thing you don't have to wear them. " What is the big deal? Seriously, they are a good alternative to shorts, not everyone likes wearing shorts. I feel as though I am doing a sort of public service by choosing capris over shorts, and sparing everyone else the sights of my white thighs. Sometimes I wear capris around my guy friends just to be antagonistic. I think that the fact that practically no man likes them makes them more fun to wear. . . Especially since tons and tons of women wear them. It's about time we started dressing for ourselves without regard to the male opinion!

Grr. . .

2007-01-03T13:29:00.001-08:00

Want to know what I find really irritating??? People who bring their babies and toddlers to restaurants and sit in the smoking section. Everyone knows the risk of smoking, and the effects of second hand smoke, and people who smoke make that choice, and that is their right, but no one should be allowed to force that choice upon small children. Not only are the children in the smoking section around their parents smoke, but also the rest of the people sitting in the smoking sections smoke. Seriously is it that hard to finish your meal and then smoke outside? Children shouldn't be allowed in that section, their should be an age limit set. Children should also not be allowed in bars. I have seen very young kids, I'm talking toddlers, in bars with their parents. I think it's horrible. It really makes me sick.

Exploitation

2007-01-03T13:27:00.001-08:00

Donna M. Hughes, “The Internet and the Global Prostitution Industry,” discusses how the internet is enabling sexual exploitation of women and children through pornography, bride trafficking, prostitution tours, and lack of regulations for the internet. The internet makes it easy to do things anonymously and therefore stay almost above the law, both for consumers and sellers. Some magazines have actually praised some of these web pornographers for their business techniques. For example PC Computing Esays about pornography websites, “It will show you the future of the on-line commerce. Web pornographers are the most innovative entrepreneurs in the Internet.” (246) It is true though, web pornographers are often the leaders in creating new secure ways to pay, better privacy settings, and more security; these are things that almost every company on the internet needs. I agree with Hughes in that something needs to be done about this problem. There needs to be some sort of regulations. Every time a law is passed people claim that it is censorship and against the freedom of speech. For example, “The December 1996 issue of Wired, the leading professional publication on the Internet, stated that a new law in the United States, which made it illegal to transmit indecent materials to minors, was censorship.” This to me is just asinine. I agree with free speech and am not for censorship, but this law was to protect children from harm. I feel that if some of these people believe that transmitting sexually explicit material to children is their right, then it is in the best interest of everyone that that person is censored and stopped. At what point do the people who are screaming that these regulations would be violating their rights realize that no one should have the right to harm anyone else? The solutions that are being promoted only serve to screen out sexually explicit material to protect children from being exposed to it. It is good to want to protect our children from seeing these things, but we must also concern ourselves with the people who are being exploited in the first place. Values and morals are often lost on the internet. Things that are normally considered as criminal and wrong happen on a normal basis, things that people would normally not say or do, become easy because of the anonymity of the internet. Hughes argues that, “The European Union defines trafficking as a form of organized crime. It should be treated the same way on the internet. All forms of sexual exploitation should be recognized as forms of violence against women and human rights violations, and governments should act accordingly.”(459) I believe that is very true. The exploitation and objectification of these women and children is, I believe, wrong and violates their rights as humans. There is real harm being done to real people, something needs to be done to intervene. I know that it would be very difficult to regulate the material and probably impossible to eliminate these sites that exploit women and children, but I do believe that if it is kept up, we can at least “make a dent” in it. As for those who believe that any sort of regulation would be censorship and a violation of their rights I ask this question and urge them to think critically: Why does the right to exploit women and children win out to the basic human right not to be exploited?

"Oppression" by Marilyn Frye

2007-01-03T13:25:00.000-08:00

“Oppression” was written by Marilyn Frye originally for The Politics of Reality in 1983. The writing style of this essay is formal, but not dry by any means. The thesis of this essay is that the word “oppression” is often misused and that men are not oppressed and also gives examples of how women are oppressed. She states that it is perfectly acceptable to say that a group of people are not oppressed and still acknowledge their feelings and sufferings. She says that groups that are oppressed are in a double bind which she defines as: “situations in which options are reduced to a very few and all of them expose one to penalty, censure or deprivation.” She uses the example of young woman and sexual activity to illustrate the double bind; young women who are sexually active are labeled as loose or whores, where young women who are not sexually active can be labeled as frigid, uptight, or automatically assumed a lesbian. Frye goes on to give more examples such as the way women dress; women are either accused of advertising their sexual availability, or not caring how they look depending on how they are dressed. She also discusses the double binding situation of rape. How if a woman is sexually active and is raped, she obviously enjoys sex therefore enjoyed it, and if the woman is not sexually active she is “repressed and frustrated” and enjoyed it as well. Frye then compares a bird cage to oppression, saying that we need to step back and take a macroscopic view to see the oppression. This is all important to the field of women’s studies because it fights back to the claim that men are oppressed too, and it really illustrates how women are caught in this oppression.
The one issue in this essay that stood out to me as a problem was the example of how a young woman’s sexual activity, or lack there of, effects what people say about her. If she is sexually active, than she is called a “whore” (or something to that effect), and if she is not sexually active she is frigid, cold, or maybe gay. This is something that men do to women all of the time, it is just another one of those double binding situations. Nobody wants to be identified and labeled because they are or are not sexually active. It is the same as in the example that Frye gives with how women are judged on the clothes that they wear. If a woman is wearing something revealing she is called “loose” if she is not wearing revealing clothing she is called “unfeminine.” What I feel is the worst thing about this is that we women sometimes do this to each other. If we are around a young woman who is more sexually active than we believe is “right” then we sometimes might call her a “slut” or something along those lines. We are all most likely guilty of thinking like this at some point in time; as much as I would not like to admit it, nor am I proud of it; I know that I am guilty of this. I believe that this is very significant to Women’s Studies. Part of the point of Women’s Studies is to educate and try to end the use of stereotypes and generalizations about women, made by men. Let me just ask one question: how can we ever expect them to take us completely seriously and treat us the way we want to be treated when there is so much horizontal hostility among us women?

Kantian Ethics and Euthanasia

2007-01-03T01:04:00.000-08:00

I believe that euthanasia, allowing someone to die, is morally permissible in certain situations. However, killing someone who is suffering is morally wrong in my opinion. For this argument my definition of a suffering person is someone who is in a great deal of pain, is being kept alive by medicine, feeding tubes, or life support, and has no chance of recovery. Although some may disagree, I feel that allowing someone to die and killing someone are two completely different things. So for the sake of my argument I will define euthanasia as “the act or practice of allowing a hopelessly sick or injured patient to die by taking less than complete medical measures to prolong life”(dictionary.com), because I do believe that actually killing someone is wrong. I agree with Immanuel Kant’s ethical theory. I also have been brought up to believe that good will is important. I consider myself as somewhat as a Kantian, and will use parts of Immanuel Kant’s theory to help my argument.

Like I said before allowing someone who is suffering to die is morally permissible, perhaps in some situations even a moral obligation. I believe based on his theory Immanuel Kant would agree with me. Allow me to share a story that I believe will illustrate my point and will also show how I came to have this belief. A few years back I was working in a nursing home as a nursing assistant. On the unit where I worked there was a resident in their late 90s. This resident suffered from severe dementia, diabetes, severe arthritis, and could not walk. One night this resident was confused and tried to get out of bed without assistance and suffered a bad fall. This fall left them in bed and the resident was in great pain even with the strong pain medication. A few weeks later the same resident, whom was still confined to bed, suffered from a stroke. The resident quit talking completely and refused to eat. A doctor confirmed that this resident would never recover and suggested that they be put on comfort measures only, meaning that there are no attempts at prolonging life, only pain management and other comfort measures. This resident’s power of attorney got angry at this and demanded that efforts were taken to keep the resident alive, so a feeding tube was put in. The resident continually tried to pull the feeding tube out so they were put in restraints. I, along with my fellow nursing staff, felt that it was cruel to keep this person alive. Thankfully the power of attorney decided for whatever reason to allow the feeding tube to come out and the resident passed away the next day. The feeding tube was prolonging the resident’s life, but also prolonging their pain and suffering. Therefore in situations like this I feel that it is morally permissible to allow nature to take its course and allow someone to die. I believe that this could be a universal law. Allow me to use Kant’s principle of the “categorical imperative” to illustrate. Whenever someone is suffering (see my definition of a suffering person from the first paragraph) it is morally permissible to allow them to die by not taking any medical means of prolonging their life. I believe that as long as the motive is to end someone’s suffering and not anything else, that euthanasia (how I defined it in the first paragraph) is morally right.

My values have come from my parents, my friends, and different life experiences. My feelings regarding euthanasia come from personal experiences including the story from above. I believe that my motives are good and I try to act on good will in my life. If I was ever suffering I pray that my family would respect me enough to allow me to die naturally.

Bye Bye Tampons!

2007-01-02T23:21:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh. After months of being skeptical of everyone in my Women's Studies classes talking about the Diva Cup, I finally gave in and ordered one. I got it right before my period, so I was able to use it right away. It is the coolest thing since sliced bread. . .Seriously. For those of you who don't know what the Diva Cup is, it's a menstrual cup (sounds gross, but really it's not). Here are a few pro's out of the many: it is super comfortable (you can't even feel it in), it can stay in for up to 10-12 hours, it doesn't leak at all. . .no really it doesn't, it is better for you (it's FDA approved and isn't linked to TSS. . .unlike tampons), it's environmentally friendly, it's better for you (read about it in the above link), and it saves you money. For cons I guess I would have to say that before you get a good technique down, it is a little more time consuming than tampons or pads, but I mastered my technique in about a day and a half. Before I got it I thought that it would be icky and messy, but really it is not any messier than changing a tampon. And best of all it's guaranteed for 10 years. . .Wow think of all the money you would spend on disposable feminine products in 10 years. I am recommending this to every female I know.

You can get it at amazon for just over 20 bucks. . .which is like 15 less than I payed for it. . .
I assure you, it is worth every penny!!!

Body Image

2007-01-02T21:15:00.000-08:00

“Body Image: Third Wave Feminism Issue?” written by Amelia Richards makes the argument that body image is something that all feminists and non-feminist women can relate to. She states that the first and second wave of feminism had clearly defined goals and purposes, and this is not the case with the third wave of feminism. Feminism today is all over the board; in fact, what one group of feminists are fighting for may contradict what another group of feminists wants. Richards believes that the issue of body image is something that all feminists can unite on. I completely agree. Almost every woman I know today has body image issues of their own, and all share the complaint that there is no way to ever measure up to the images of women we see in the media. Richard states that “Body image is significant as a rallying focus because it speaks not only to the converted but also to the ‘I’m not a feminist, but . . . I’m tired of measuring myself against an impossible-to-achieve beauty standard’ contingent.” Are we not all tired of trying to measure up to that? In almost every popular magazine there are countless advertisements picturing tall, slender, and usually tan women who we are being told is how we are supposed to look. Very rarely do we see advertisements featuring any average sized women, and almost never do we see plus size women. When we turn on the television we see the same types of women. We see these beautiful women, with no unsightly bulges, and flawless skin. We see women with newborn babies who already have their flat stomachs back. This is not reality. These women in the advertisements and the women on popular television are not what the majority of women in America look like. A very small percentage of women are actually biologically able to be tall and thin. The majority of women in America are not stick thin and tall. Whoever those women are supposed to be representing, it certainly is not us normal women of America. What do these everyday women who are not on television or in magazines feel like? Well, I hate the way I feel sometimes while looking through pictures of what I could never hope to look like, feeling I have failed somehow because I do not fit that depiction of attractiveness. Richard discusses feelings of being in a double standard. She talks about writing responses for her advice column to young women who suffer from eating disorders and poor body images, giving them advice that they should learn to love their bodies and telling them they need not try to live up to the images of women they see all over. At the same time she knows that attractive and slim women statistically fare better in life and in careers than women who are less attractive by cultural “norms” and who are maybe normal weight or overweight. I think that a lot of women, including myself, talk about how we do not have to look like these women on television or in magazines, we talk about how we need to love our own bodies; all the while we are still feeling bad, maybe just a little, about our own bodies not measuring up to these women we see all the time. How does one get other young women to love their bodies, when perhaps she has body issues of her own? Richards suggests that we “create a dialog,” and also states that we must “point out that this problem affects men, too.” She believes we must unify for this cause, have better sex education and keep the conversation open. She says we need to carry the “dialog” out into our normal lives so that we can start to feel better about ourselves. I believe that she is right. This is one cause that I’m sure most could agree on. According to Richards “It’s up to the third wave of feminism to make sure this conversation continues and that a support network exists.”

Richards, Amy. "Body Image: A Third Wave Issue?." Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings,. McGraw, 2004. 220-21.

Works Cited: Young Girls and Sexually Provocative Clothing: Not Just Harmless Self Expression

2007-01-02T20:15:00.000-08:00

Abercrombie and Fitch. 6 Mar. 2006 .
"Buying into Sexy: The sexing up of tweens." CBC News. 9 Jan. 2005. CBC News. 5 Mar. 2006 http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/files/money/sexy/.

English, Bella . "Countering hypersexualized marketing aimed at young girls." Brandeis University. 12 Mar. 2005. 9 Mar. 2006

Ford, Dave. "Abercrombie's Lolita line of thongs goes beyond bad taste." 26 May 2002. San Francisco Chronicle. 5 Mar. 2006 http://faculty.smu.edu/jdbradle/Abercrombie.

Gojane.com. 9 Mar. 2006 http://www.gojane.com/?ovchn=GGL&ovcpn=Clothing&ovcrn=teen+clothes&ovtac=PPC.

Greenfield, Jimmy. "Student 'girlcott' protests Abercrombie t-shirts." Newsday.com. 2 Nov. 2005. Newsday. 8 Mar. 2006 http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/ny-chifitch1103,0,3539255.story?coll=ny-homepage-mezz.

McCallough, Kevin. "Abercrombie & Fitch to your kids: Group sex now." Worldnet Daily. Nov. 2003. 2 Mar. 2006 http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=35579.

Pearson, Patricia. "Preteen Temptresses." Maclean's 117.10 (2004): 46. Academic Search Elite. Ebsco. Polk Library. 9 Mar. 2006 http://search.epnet.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=afh&an=12421479.

Pollet, Alison. Hurwitz, Page. "Strip Till You Drop." Nation 278.2 (2004): 20-25. Academic Search Elite. Ebsco Host. Polk Library. 9 Mar. 2006

"Sex sells: Marketing and 'age compression'." CBC News. 9 Jan. 2005. CBC News. 5 Mar. 2005 http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/files/money/sexy/marketing.html.

"Statistics." National Eating Disorder Association. NEDA. 26 Apr. 2006 .

"Teen Obesity." Palo Alto Medical Foundation. Palo Alto Medical Foundation. 9 Apr. 2006 .

PART IV- Young Girls and Sexually Provocative Clothing: Not Just Harmless Self Expression

2007-01-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

So why do companies want to sell sexually provocative clothing to young girls? Companies have various reasons for targeting young girls and have several techniques they use to help them. Ford states that these companies “. . . figure out how to manipulate their targets -- with flattery, with attention, with a promised sense of belonging” (Ford). The desire to fit in and belong is a common feeling amongst young girls. The pressure to fit in and belong with everyone when you are a preteen and a teen is very intense, so when these clothing companies can offer some sense of belonging to these girls, they have struck the right nerve. When teens get jobs, they often have a lot of expendable cash. With no bills, car payments, or rent, some of these girls have nothing else to spend their money on. Companies take advantage of this and use the power of advertising to get young girls to convince their parents to buy them what they want. CBC claims that, “Sex has always sold, but now its children that are buying. Tweens, kids aged eight to 14, are a hot target for companies. And now more than ever, sex is being used to get their dollars” (Buying into Sexy . . ., CBC). I believe this is true. Think about all the sexual images teens and preteens are bombarded with daily. Even dolls marketed to preteens and younger use sex to sell. The popular dolls called “Bratz” are dressed sexy and wear a lot of make up. These young girls see sexy images in popular magazines targeted to their age group, they see it on TV, and they watch music videos that are laden with sexuality. Bella English, writer of the article, "Countering Hypersexualized Marketing Aimed at Young Girls," asked a group of preteens “. . . what sort of sexual commercials they've seen on television, the middle-school girls mention Victoria's Secret bras and underwear, Viagra, and Trojan condoms” (English). The fact that sex is being used to sell to young girls is very disturbing, but when you think about it, we see sex all of the time in ads and on TV. The image is so common it almost seems normal. That in itself seems dangerous.

Some companies use sexualized images to sell their clothes to young girls. One company often critizized for doing this is Abercrombie and Fitch. Walking into the store, there are sexy images all over the walls. Their website is the same. In fact, on their website they have a separate A&F Lifestyle section that is dedicated to pictures of models (wearing little) in sexual poses. You can also send e-cards with these pictures to friends and even download Abercrombie and Fitch screensavers and wallpaper for your computer (www.abercrombie.com). Abercrombie and Fitch have a quarterly magazine they distribute. In Keven McCallough’s article “Abercrombie and Fitch to your Kids: Group Sex Now,” he discusses how the 2003 Christmas issue of this magazine is filled with “. . . 45 images [including] overt portrayals of group sex, lots of teen and young adult nudity, men kissing, and teens /young adults frolicking in a river engaging in sexual activity in multiple group settings” (McCallough). He then brings up the fact that no clothing is actually advertised in the magazine until page 120. This magazine was eventually pulled from the shelf, but Abercrombie continues to use sex to sell their brand. Abercrombie is only one among the many companies that use sex as a major selling point.

Not all companies that target preteens and teens use sex so blatantly. A popular website for young girls clothing is gojane.com. The clothing they sell still consists of low cut shirts, low rise jeans, short skirts, short shirts, and various other “sexy” items, but they also have a small variety of more conservative clothing for the teen who does not want to dress provocatively. One part of this website that I really like is that there are no tiny models wearing the clothing, just pictures of the clothes.

What motivates young girls to want to dress in this sexually provocative way? We know a desired feeling of belonging contributes to this behavior, but let us look beyond that. Many girls enjoy the attention that looking sexy brings them. Sexy is what their favorite actresses and pop-stars are, and what they long to be. Patricia Pearson states that:

“There is something spectacularly aimless about the state of undress of younger celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears, given that their supposed vocation is to sing rather than swing. And what's going on with their pseudo-lesbian French kissing and their hyper-sexual dance moves? Are they celebrating their sexual freedom after years of oppression? No. That happened several decades ago. Are they celebrating their fashion freedom after years of foot-binding and corsetry? No. Try the century before last. Did somebody spike their Evian with Spanish fly?”(Pearson 46)

So why is it? Shock value seems to play a major role in the desire to dress sexually. Madonna shocked us more than a decade ago by pushing the envelope with sexuality, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera pushed the envelope further, we watched Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction,” and pop-stars to come will most likely do the same. At what point do we draw the line?

Some argue that dressing in a provocative manner is empowering to young girls. They are free to express their sexuality and do not have to hide their sexuality as if it were something to be ashamed of. I believe in free speech, freedom of expression, and that it is good for people to feel free to express their sexuality. However, I do not think that young girls should be encouraged, even pushed, to be sexual before they are mature enough to have sex. Pollet and Hurwitz state that, “many adolescents embrace these products as a harmless and fun way to wield sexual power, defending their right to express themselves. . .” (Pollet, Hurwitz 20). Are they expressing themselves, or are they simply imitating a stereotypical image of what they believe femininity is? Young girls see so many images everyday of what femininity supposedly looks like, many young girls do not even consider that perhaps there are other ways to be feminine.

CBC followed around a preteen for a day. When asked why young girls feel the need to dress sexy, the girl replied, “You get more attention and strange guys come up to you and try and get you to go to nightclubs.” (qtd.in Buying into Sexy… CBC). The fact that this preteen believes that a “reward” for dressing sexy is to have “strange guys” invite her to nightclubs is absolutely frightening. Pollet and Hurwitz say that young girls enjoy “. . . a coy yet brazen, look-but-don’t-touch sexual persona” (Pollet, Hurwitz 20). This off-limits but desirable look makes young girls feel powerful.

It is important to realize that not all young girls want to dress like this. In 2005 Abercrombie and Fitch put out a shirt with the message “Who needs brains when you have these?” written across the chest. A group of high school girls were offended and organized a boycott or a “girl-cott” as they called it. The leader of the “girl-cott” states that, “We're telling [girls] to think about the fact that they're being degraded. We're all going to come together in this one effort to fight this message that we're getting from pop culture." (qtd.in Greenfield). These girls recognize the negative messages these clothes are sending. However, when other girls were asked about the shirts, many did not think of them as a big deal. I cannot think of a more blatant way to send the message that objectification is acceptable than by wearing a shirt that says, “Who needs brains when you have these” across the chest. Perhaps Abercrombie and Fitch should just quit beating around the bush and create a shirt that says, “My breasts are the most important part of who I am, please look at them,” or better yet they can really cut to the chase and sell a shirt with the words, “Objectify me.”

While some people believe that young girls dressing in a sexual way is just harmless, I very strongly disagree. I feel that it is dangerous on many levels. It is important to teach these girls that the media’s portrayal of what is sexy and feminine is not the only version of attractiveness. This narrow image of what is sexy can have harmful effects on a young girl's self image. Not every girl can fit into the commonly portrayed teeny tiny girl version of sexy. In order for some girls to try to achieve that rail thin, underweight look, they go to unhealthy measures. Crash diets, starvation diets, and obsession about weight are common among young girls. Sometime this obsession with weight can lead to more serious eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia[1].

Sex should not be used to sell to young girls (particularly preteens) who are not old enough or mature enough to understand sex and everything it entails. Some of the messages the clothes are sending give skewed ideas of sexuality to young girls. In a country whose government is pushing hard for abstinence-only education, it seems scary that girls are learning about sexuality this way. If we are letting our young girls dress in a sexual manner, the least we can do is teach them about sex.

Many of these clothing products, especially the slogans, are reinforcing negative stereotypes of women, which we have fought long and hard to break. Young girls also are opening themselves up to being objectified. For years women have been fighting against oppression and the sex object stereotype, but today it seems like young girls are actually volunteering to be objectified. In fact, it’s a style. They need to be fully aware of the implications of objectification.

Dressing in a provocative way could quite possibly pose the danger of attracting more attention from a child molester or any type of sexual predator. Seeing images of young girls as sexual beings over and over may start to make it seem more acceptable to view young girls as sexual objects, and that is very dangerous. The more we see something the more normal it becomes. I am not blaming the victim here, I am only seeing the possibilities of what a sexual predator may see and look for. This is especially dangerous for the young girl who has volunteered herself to being objectified.

So what is the parents’ role in all of this? Parents, as well as their children, need to be aware of the dangers involved in letting their young girls dress in a sexually provocative way. Some parents are afraid of squelching their children’s individuality if they govern too much about the clothes that they wear. Parents need to discover ways of being able to compromise with their young girls about what they wear to prevent them from dressing in an inappropriately sexual manner. They should educate their girls about the media and its narrow representation of sexy and feminine, and about the messages their clothes send. When push comes to shove, a parent is a parent and should have the final say in it anyway; it is a parent’s job to protect its young. Of course it is unrealistic to assume that all parents will do this, but the more parents that are educated about this situation, the more that will teach their young girls the same. Parents need to realize that the dangers of letting their young girls dress this way can drastically outweigh the benefits of letting their girls exercise their freedom to express their sexuality through this type of clothing.

The clothing marketed to pre-teen and teenage girls sends negative messages about body image and self image, promotes negative stereotypes and objectifies women; furthermore, creating images of these young girls as sexual beings is dangereous. After examining the popular clothing styles today, the underwear being sold to teens and preteens, slogans on clothing, clothing size and style in relation to body image, and advertising used to target these young girls, we can see more clearly the negative impacts of this problem. I strongly believe that in order to empower young girls we need to educate them about them implications of dressing in this sexually provocative way. If no action is taken to educate our young girls, I fear that we will be erasing the hard work of the women before us in fighting against oppression.

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[1] According to The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) as many as 1 million males and 10 million females in the US have an eating disorder (National Eating Disorder Association).

PART III Young Girls and Sexually Provocative Clothing: Not Just Harmless Self Expression

2007-01-02T17:08:00.000-08:00

Not only do these clothes send out negative messages about women, but they also have the potential to be harmful to a girl’s body image. The clothes that are sold to young girls are often revealing and extremely form-fitting. Not every girl is built the same way. Many of these clothes are made to look best on incredibly thin girls. If a girl does not feel comfortable with how she looks in these clothes, what are her options? There are not many. The girls that model the clothes in catalogues, ads, and magazines are not average sized girls, they are smaller than average, some underweight. Those tiny girl models are what companies are telling girls the image of attractiveness is. Many girls cannot live up to that image, and some suffer greatly because of it. Failure to live up to the beauty “standard” that these girls see everyday can definitely be a contributing factor for depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, not to mention the negative effects it can have on self-esteem. Very small sizes are offered such as 00, 0, 1, 2, 3 . . . and so on, but not many sizes above 9 or 11 are offered. There seems to be the occasional size 13 and the rare 15.

So what about the plus-sized girl? Are these companies saying it is better to be underweight than overweight? That one extreme is better than the other? In a country where over half the population is overweight, one would think that someone would be catering to the majority. The statistics for overweight children are not as high as for adults, but it is still a large portion of the population. According to the Palo Alto Medical Foundation, 15% of children from 6-18 are overweight, and another 15% at risk for becoming overweight (Palo Alto Medical Foundation). So where do these girls go when they need clothes? In all the stores I went to research, only one had a section for plus size juniors, Gordman’s in Grand Chute. The section consisted of 2 racks of a very small selection of clothes. The plus-sized girl is left with very few options of clothing that are in style for her age group. Not only overweight girls have problems finding clothes that are stylish yet not revealing. What about for the girl who wants a pair of jeans that cover her backside, or the preteen who’s parents don’t want her to dress provocatively? At the risk of sounding redundant, there are not many options.

To Be continued. . . PART IV Advertising

PART II Young Girls and Sexually Provocative Clothing: Not Just Harmless Self Expression

2007-01-02T16:30:00.000-08:00

Along with the various provocative styles of clothing are the slogans written across t-shirts, on underwear, and across the seat of pants. These sayings send negative messages about body image and self image, promote the objectification of women, and also reinforce negative stereotypes of women. Some common slogans are “angel,” “spoiled,” and “princess.” Even these seemingly harmless slogans are promoting stereotypical images of females. There are many slogans that are much worse than these. Rue 21, a store at Prime Outlets in Oshkosh, sells shirts that have messages such as “Voted most flexible by your boyfriend,” “I had a nightmare that I was brunette,” and “Looking for Mr. Right Now.” At Hot Topic, a store in the Fox River Mall, there was a shirt with a picture of a rubber duck on it saying, “Wanna get lucky with this ducky?” That is a prime example of the combination of cute, childish, and sexual. At Kohl’s Department store there are shirts that say “You better make more than I can spend,” Silly blondes, brains are for brunettes,” and “Your boyfriend and I make a cute couple.” While walking around the UW Oshkosh campus, I observed a girl in sweatpants with the word “Juicy” written across her backside. How about a nice pair of underwear with the word “Bootylicious” or “Ready to go” written across the seat? Or underwear in the “Girls” department at Kohl’s with a picture of cherries on them? These are examples of the hundreds of slogans that are out there. These slogans enforce stereotypes of women, they tell us that blondes are more attractive than brunettes, blondes are unintelligent, and that women are “gold-diggers” who love to spend men’s money. Some promote the stereotype that women are manipulative and backstabbing, willing to “steal” another’s boyfriend. This further promotes the idea that a woman needs a man and should do anything to get one. Other slogans seem to tell young girls that not only is sexual promiscuity acceptable, it is actually “cool.” Messages like “bootylicious” worn by a girl seem to make it acceptable to objectify her, almost as if she wants to be objectified. With girls wearing and desiring these clothes, they are in some ways turning themselves into sex objects.

To be continued. . . PART III- Body image and self image

PART I Young Girls and Sexually Provocative Clothing: Not Just Harmless Self Expression

2007-01-02T16:00:00.000-08:00

In our society, the fashion trend of preteens and teens seems to be becoming increasingly sexually provocative. Is this just a harmless way for girls to express themselves and their sexuality? I say no. The clothing marketed to pre-teen and teenage girls sends negative messages about body image and self image, promotes negative stereotypes, and objectifies women; the created image of young girls as sexual beings is dangerous. To further understand this, let us examine some of the popular clothing styles today, the underwear being sold to teens and preteens, slogans on clothing, clothing size and style in relation to body image, and advertising used to target these young girls. We will also explore the possible motivations and dangers for young girls to dress in this manner and parents’ role in all of this.

Today there are several popular styles for young girls that are sexually provocative. We see low-rise jeans with thong underwear sticking out the back, very short skirts and shorts, midriff bearing tops, off the shoulder tops, incredibly low cut tops, tops that look strikingly like lingerie, and skimpy swim wear. The article, “Strip Till You Drop,” by Alison Pollet and Page Hurwitz, describes clothing marketed to young girls as being “. . . a creepy synthesis of cute and tawdry” (Pollet, Hurwitz 20). Pollet and Hurwitz also bring up the new “revamped” Playboy logo, the Playboy Bunny. The Playboy Bunny has been remade into something cute, cuddly, and childish. We find the Bunny on shirts, underwear, hats, socks, jewelry, and on many other products targeting young girls. (Pollet, Hurwitz 21). The Playboy Bunny is a prime example on how cute and sexual is meshed together. Regardless of how cute the Playboy Bunny now appears, it still represents “Playboy” and the images of women as sexual beings. There really is nothing innocent and childlike about “Playboy Magazine.” So why is their logo on products marketed to young girls? This is only one example of the many combinations of cute and sexual.

Possibly the most alarming and sexually provocative article of clothing sold to teens and preteen is underwear. Walking through the local mall, I decided to see what was being sold for young girls. For teens it seemed that “anything goes” from thongs and g-strings, to super low-rise, string bikinis, and “boy cut.” They come in every color and type of flimsy fabric. Some also have words written on them such as “vixen,” “hottie,” and “trollop.” For bras, stores offered a little of everything as well: lacy pushup bras, sheer bras, bras with cartoon characters plastered on them, and a lot of lingerie looking undergarments. I did not see any thongs or g-strings in the pre-teen or “Girls” section of stores, but there were plenty of low rise, string bikini, and lingerie type underwear. There were padded bras in the girl’s section of department stores. At Kohl’s, a popular department store, I found what appeared to be a pink lacy pushup bra in the girls department.

The bras being sold at Kohl’s in the girls section were not just “training bras” but mini versions of the bras being sold to teens and adults. This is a great example of the term “age compression.” According to CBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Company, “Age compression is a marketing strategy in which adult products and attitude are pushed on younger kids.” (Sex Sells… CBC). These bras are being sold to girls who have no physical reason for needing one. There were sizes as small as 30AA being sold, and they were padded. This seems to send the message that having large breasts is an important part of being an attractive woman. We see age compression especially with underwear and undergarments marketed to preteens. Lingerie, lacy underwear, and lacy push-up bras are typically what one would consider adult apparel.

Although I did not see any actual thongs being sold specifically to preteens, it doesn’t mean it does not happen. Thongs and g-strings made for teens are also made in size XS (extra small), the perfect size for a preteen girl. According to Dave Ford, author of the article "Abercrombie's Lolita Line of Thongs Goes Beyond Bad Taste,” Abercrombie and Fitch actually created a line of thongs specifically for 10-14 year old girls in 2002 (Ford). Abercrombie and Fitch “. . . adorned the baby thongs with images of cherries and such messages as ‘Wink Wink’ and ‘Eye Candy’" (Ford). These little girl thongs stuck perfectly out of the back of their little girl low rise jeans. Ford argues that this turns 10-14 year old girls into sex objects. The thong is commonly viewed as a very sexy undergarment, traditionally worn by strippers before making its way into the mainstream. It is disturbing that some little girls are wearing underwear, commonly associated with being sexual, before they even begin to menstruate.

To be continued. . . Part II- Slogans

A response. . . "I'm not a feminist or anything"

2007-01-01T13:01:00.000-08:00

In response to, "I'm not a feminist or anything, but. . ."
Feminist is not a dirty word, and feminism is not a negative thing. I am so sick of hearing, "Well, I'm not a feminist or anything, but I think that [insert some feminist ideal here]." I understand that not everyone who has beliefs that women and men should be equal identify as feminists, but why make it a point to tell people you're not?

What does Feminism mean? It doesn't mean man-hating lesbian. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (4th edition) defines feminism as, "1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. 2. The movement organized around this belief." That's it, that is what it means. Some feminists are lesbians, and some feminists hate men, some feminists are straight, some are bi, some are religious, some are atheist, some are radical, some are more conservative. . .and so on. . . but none of those characteristics define the word. Catch my drift?